family

What do you do when you feel like the only string keeping your family together and sane?

I've been trying to figure that out for years now.

I mean, I know what to do and I'm doing it, but . . .

how am I supposed to handle it?

Like, be pure about it.

I don't want to put up a fake front and make people think I'm calm and collected when on the inside I'm really like a town that got ripped apart by a tornado. . . it's chaotic.

It's actually not that gruesome, I just have an unbelievable amount of stress that I can't seem to get rid of, no matter what changes I make in life.

My mom is an emotional train wreck.

One day she's the funnest person to be around and the next she's crying herself to sleep because her boyfriend called her at 8 o'clock instead of 7 o'clock.

It's way worse than that, but I'm not here to bash my mom via internet.

I can't tell if she's genuinly hurt by all of these events or if she's just feeling sorry for herself.

I'm pretty sure she's just feeling sorry for herself.

We used to have the kind of relationship where I would tell her things about herself or give her advise and she would graciously take it to heart.

Now, whenever I tell her ANYTHING she reacts like I'm viciously attacking her and . . . ugh.

Honestly, I'm the mother now and she's the daughter who I'm taking care of.

What about me?

Who's taking care of me?

Where's MY role model?

And Ben is no help because whenever I tell him what's going on, the only words of encouragement are "You should move to Colorado".

Thanks. Love you too.

I pray for strength every night and day, but I just don't feel anything except pain and frustration.

Maybe I should start praying for patience, huh?