Old Soul

I haven't been sick in a while, but that streak of luck is gone.
I'm sick.
It's just a cold, but it still counts.
Unfortunately.

Ugh, I just hate that feeling when you sound like the Godfather, everything you consume stings your throat, and someone is playing the bongos inside your brain.

But at least I fly home tomorrow.
I was supposed to be home on Monday but weird things happened with flights and now Wednesday is my day.
I love flying.
I can't wait to come home.
I mean I'm really gonna miss Ben, but I'll get to see him in a month so no big.
I've really found a new appreciation for "home" since I've been living away from it.
I used to think it was holding me back, but it just new best.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Not Absinthe.

Flying home makes me feel like once I get home, I'm sort of starting a new life in a sense.
I feel like a different person, I'm planning different things in my life that I never would've done in the past, and the big thing of it all is . . . . . . . .badabadabadabadabada . . . . . . . . . . I'm excited about it!

Ben and I had a long argument about courtesy and anger . . . . that ended up as a discussion about stress.
It was really insightful because he was telling me that there's good stress and bad stress and you always need stress in your life because it's one of the things that motivates you.

Like I said, insightful.

Now that our relationship is moving into a different realm because he's graduating/living independently now and I'm becoming more of a home body (kind of not really), our dynamics our changing.

That prompts some discussions, little arguments, small fits of rage. . . etc.
But no matter how brutal the war can be (and it's never really brutal) we always end with healed wounds and a closer relationship.
I think the major hurdle we cleared while being together these last couple of weeks is that we talked, openly and peacefully talked, about the possibility that we could not be the one for each other.

That we possibly weren't meant to be.

Now, we're nowhere near ending our relationship.
Just completely the opposite.
Which is great.
And that's what you do in a relationship:
you talk, yell, hurt and if it's right, you heal and grow with a new appreciation and love for each other.

It's great.






. . . . . I swear I'm not some 38 year-old trapped in a 20 year-olds body.

Still me, guys.