Grocery/Prayer list

Well, Thursday couldn't wait.

Just got done with running and the gym.
Ben was supposed to meet me there. . . .

he never showed up.

Oh well. Hope he's not dead!
Cuz THEN who would drive me to the airport, huh?


I went to the grocery store on Monday night and something interesting/sad happened.
I was on my way down the pasta isle looking for some velveta (mmmmmmm velveeetaaaaa)
and as I was standing there trying to decide if I should get regular size or family size I over heard a conversation happening (yes, I was eves dropping) between and elderly man and an elderly couple.
What caught my attention was the word "chemo".
Apparently the single man's wife just found out she had cancer and the couple is friends with them and was asking if there was anything they could do, anything they needed etc.
The single man seemed at peace with it which I found surprising.
Then the woman asked if she was hopefull. . . . .

Now, I don't know what the proper question are to ask when dealing with a cancer patient but that just seemed really cut throat.
She made it sound like there was no hope.

There's always hope.

When they parted ways, I caught the one man's eyes and just smiled.
I didn't know what else I should do.
All I can do now is just pray for him, his wife, and possible family.

I always seem to pray for people in grocery stores.

About 3 months ago I heard a couple talking to there friend about there child who was a twin but the other one died at birth.
They still wanted to have twins badly.
I still pray for them too.



. . . . if I'm their secret prayer,

Do I have one?

How many of us are there?

Where to begin

Computer, I hope you don't feel like I've been neglecting you . . . .
because I'm not.
I just haven't had any kind of access to you until now.
So with that said, I have a lot of things to keep talking about.


Currently I'm in Colorado and surrounded by snow.
It was a wierd change from sunny Ventura . . . isn't that a guy's name?

Sunny Ventura?
Oh well.

So yeah, been here for almost 2 weeks and it's nice.
It's nice being with Ben . . . . and it's nice hanging with his friends . . . and it's nice not having any obligations . . . . but it's SO BORING!!!

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love being with Ben all the time and it breaks my heart every time when one of us has to leave but I need to come home soon.
I need to work, need to go to church, need my friends, family . . . this isn't my life, it's his.
And right now that works for us.
It's a great place to visit but I can't live here.

My day consists of:
9:00am - waking up from a not-so-good sleep of waking up almost every hour to back pains because his matress sucks.
11am - go to the gym with Ben for 2 hours or go run. If it's a tues or thurs, I go by myself
2pm- lunch
4pm-go to store, go to "the house", or go out to eat.
then after that it's either watch T.V. cuz we're too tired to get up or go out with friends.

Luckily, today I have a few minutes of free time from my hectic schedule to pay you a visit, computer.

Easter was pleasant.
I dragged Ben to church for a . . . different type of service.
We ended up going to a Baptist church because that was the service that we made it on time to.
there were about 40 people there, only half of the tiny chapel was filled.
It was very old fashioned.
I felt like I was in a cliche of a movie.
The pastor was a firey guy who put the sylable "uh" after everthing like "JesusUH died on the crossUH for your sinsUH!"
God bless that man.
And you know what Ben and I noticed?
Nobody clapped.

There must have been a dozen performances by little kids that morning whether they were reciting a bible verse or singing the lords prayer, and whenever they finished, people would just say, "Amen, Amen".

We always caught ourselves in mid clap before we stopped from making a scene.
It was wierd.
But still, it was church.
You couldn't help but feel like you were welcomed.

That afternoon, Ben and all his friends made a big Easter dinner, complete with ham, potatoes, pie, etc.
It was really good.

I really missed Ojai that day, though.
It was the first time I had missed Sunrise Service.
And dinner at my Aunt's house.
So I felt slightly empty that day, even though it was completely the opposite of how I was supposed to feel.

Well, now that I've written a novel, I'm pretty sure Ben's out of class by now.
I'll probably be back on Thursday.

I know, I know, but I have to hike through the snow . . . . uphill . . . . barefoot . . . to get to the computer lab!

I fibbed that last part, but you get it.

Special

Computer, I just wrote myself a comment to myself on facebook . . .


what does that mean????


I'm weird? Or just . . . UNIQUE!
Ben calls me special.
I don't know what I think of it.
We joke about so it can't be that bad.

I just watched Mr. Brooks and I can't help but feel like someone is


sitting . . .




watching. . . .




waiting . . . . .


to kill me.


I know! It sounds nuts!
But you gotta see the movie!
It's insane!

I think I just maxed out my limit of exclamation marks for the day.

It's 11 o'clock at night and there are birds chirping outside my window. . .
hmm.
Maybe they're just really excited for tomorrow.
I'm not.

I have to work tomorrow which means I have to waste a perfectly sunny day inside.
Stupid Aloha Steakhouse.
But, at least I'll be right on the beach, or close enough.
You should come visit me computer.
Just hop a bus and go.


. . . . or maybe I'll just hope humans come in to visit me.

That means 3 things:

A. I'll get to talk to more people than usual

B. I'll hopefully make a good amount of money

or

C. All of the above.


. . . . C sounds pretty good right about now.

I should probably hit the hay.
I have to wake up relatively early because I'm going to breakfast.
I love breakfast.

Samsun is laying across my lap right now and making it impossible to type.
He's loving every minute of it.
Oh, that's Ben dog, computer.
He's a golden retreiver.
He's hea,kjf8


. . . .



that was me trying to type "heavy", but Samsun shifted and knocked you off my lap.

And yes I CAN balance you and a dog on my lap.

Ha, he has a cone collar on his head right now because he keeps itching these sores he has . . . . he looks absolutely pitiful.
It's so funny.



Oh ok.
So remember how I didn't have my camera for a while?
Well I got it back but now I can't find my cord that lets me upload them onto you!
Cake and eat it too, geez.

I'm going to Colorado this weekend for about a week.
Snowboarding should be great.
I'm missing Easter with my family though.
I love Easter.
It's a pretty low key holiday for me.
I pretty much go to church and then sleep 'till dinner.

But this year I figure I'll be cooking dinner for Ben and his roommates.
That should be fun.
Not.

why wii

My right arm is sore.
Do you know why?
I played wii for 3 hours
Now I want to cry.

burnt

Nothing but sun today, computer.


Ben and I went on a leisurely bike ride from his house to the beach and back and it was the most fun he and I had had in a long time.
I really think we needed that.

We packed a lunch, slathered the SPF and off we went.
It was the perfect day for our . . . oh about 20 mile ride.
Yeah, I know, but we were having such a great time we didn't even feel it.
The only thing we felt was sweat rolling down our backs and faces and our skin burning.


Oh! There's this crazy new thing at the beach that's this giant pole with huge lights at the top and four buttons with a picture above each one circled around the pole.
When you press a button it says, "what do you dream about?" and "what would you change in life?" and stuff like that.
Most people would think it's pointless . . . . because it is.
But if it makes you think about life and bettering it . . . well I guess it's done its job.
It's just so random!


Had lunch with my mom.
Ben had a beer.
I had a tri-tip sandwich. . . so good.
And then we went on our merry way, just like santa.

Trying to kick eat other, slap each other, race . . . so destructive . . . so fun.

Ugh, I'm so burnt though.
Is "burnt" a word? or is it burned?
I like burnt.
Anywho, you know when you're sunburnT and later that night you skin just throbs and you feel like your sick because you're so warm?
That's why I feel like.
But it's great because it feels like summer.
I'm ready for summer.


But first, I think I'm ready for some ice cream.
You?

Sick Nasty

Alright Computer,

You may or may not know this, but I'm all for good health.
Whether it's exercising, relationships . . . especially eating.
That's the most important part.
You know, the zero trans fat, organic, whole wheat-ish stuff.
But STAY AWAY from whole wheat pasta especially when it's in penne form.

No matter how long you boil it, it is the stiffest, most cardboardy crap you will ever taste in your life.
It totally ruins your eating experience (which I consider VERY important, I mean, who wants nasty food?)

Now, I'm a big texture person.
Took me forever to eat veggies.
So that could be why I don't like the pasta, but I really think it's just because it sucks.

I'm totally staring at it right now, starving, and I will not touch anymore of it.
No thank you.
Nope.

You're lucky, computer, you don't have to eat TRASH!



. . . . . . . good thing God made cereal.

Blister in the sun

Today I took my new running shoes for a 6 mile test run on the beach.
It was a gorgeous, sunny, warm, beachy day and I wanted to be outside as much as possible.
However, if you ever buy new shoes of ANY sort, never go more than 3 miles in them for the first couple of days.
I KNOW THIS.
But did I follow my own knowledge? No.

There were 3 reasons why I shouldn't have done this.
First, I was dehydrated so I had major side aches everywhere imaginable.
Second, I was out of shape so I was going way slower than I wanted and I probably looked like it too.
Last, I got gnarly blisters.
They were under, on top, and between each toe on both feet.
Learn kids, learn.

However, once they dry up, then Ben and I can pick at them and have a competition to see who can peel off the biggest piece!
Yeah, I know.
That's gross and weird, but trust me, it's a lot of fun.


After my run, I took my shoes and socks off and soaked my legs in the ocean.
Ah, the big blue.
I missed it, a lot.
Glad to be home.


Ironically, as soon as I leave nor cal (I hate that term but I'm too lazy to say the whole thing) all of these things start happening up there that I want to be a part of like birthdays, concerts, visiting friends, sporting games . . . . I hate how that happens.
Apparently God is trying to tell me something.
Something most likely worth learning.

Oh well, I still like Ojai/Ventura better.

I'm exhausted. Goodnight.